Narcisistic Bastards

If it's so important to learn how to say "no", why do our parents teach us mom and daddy as our first words?

It's a fact

Short girls with nice cleavage go well with tall guys.

Colorblind

As an asian, she always thought black & white movies were discriminatory.

His Dream Girl

She's got a long long jacket
and a short attention span.

Stand-Up

Once a girl broke up with me because of my job.
I'm a comedian. She said she was looking for a serious relationship.

Is She Well Educated?

She's got a Phd in Awkward First Dates.

In The Bizarro World...

Billy Corgan has good taste in women.

Flu Anachronism

He got the Swine Flu when it wasn't hip anymore.
So much for his 15 minutes of fame.

Before You Kill Me...

So he pulled the trigger,
shot the helpless pack of cigarrettes.
Self-Defense, he claims.

Zip Up, Zap On

In the absence of sex,
He had to buy a television.

It's The Other Way Around

When I look in the Mirror,
I break.